why detransition?

“Can you two females help me out?”

I’ve heard it in my head so many times since she said it. An unknown woman in a diner. Runs in. Barefoot. Hardly dressed. Terrified. Looks around quickly. Sees us and runs over.

“Can you two females help me out?”

Her boyfriend was trying to kill her again.

“…you two females…”

She’d run from the apartment with nothing to the closest place with lights.


In the diner we were the only table with only women at it. She was running for her life. She’d reached the only place there was any chance of hope. TO LIVE.

If I had looked like a man then, would she have died that night?


Comment from an anonymous woman, and response

Anonymous asked:Thank you for speaking out for those of us females who also know the truth but are too scared to speak out. Bless you and other women like you.

It’s so kind of you to take the time to say this. Thank YOU and all the females out there fighting, working, loving, being brave, being real. Please remember how joyful I am that you are alive out there, and know I wouldn’t be here now if not for you. You were the woman in the restroom who said “Don’t you let him treat you that way, honey.” You were the woman who ran up to the table, fleeing a violent man, terrified, barefoot, and said “Can you two females help me out?” You were the butch lesbian on the bus who smiled at me. You were the teacher who let me hide in her classroom during recess. You were the nuns who brought my family oranges and toys on the holiday. You are the reason I can do this at all. We are in this together. Which one of us speaks the truth hardly matters. We are in this together, right now and always. Without you, knowing you are out there, I’d just give up. Knowing you are, I go on defiant. That’s what it means to be what we are. This is the power they can never take away.

original at my tumblr account

More about breast binders for minors


Part 2 in a series. Part 1 can be found here.

The purpose of this series is to inform parents and guardians of children and teens about the sources for, and easy availability of, breast binders. Breast binders are easily obtained (although there is often a waiting list, which tells you something about the steadily rising tide of girls with “top dysphoria”), and are typically supplied free of charge and shipped in plain wrappers to anyone who requests them. Parental consent or support is not required. 

Please note: My intended audience is parents of teens and children. Obviously, an adult female who chooses to obtain a device to bind and compress her breasts is at liberty to do so.

In an earlier post, I highlighted the “In a Bind” program run by the Portland TransActive Gender Center, an organization headed up by a male-to-female individual named Jenn Burleton. TransActive specifically notes that…

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Breast binders and the helpful strangers pushing them on your “son”


Part 1 in a series. Part 2 can be found here.

Parents of teen girls, are you under the mistaken and old-fashioned impression that your parenting opinions should be respected by other adults when it comes to how your children are raised? Do you have the outmoded idea that you should have any input at all into decisions that might have an impact on the physical health and wellbeing of your offspring?

You’re behind the times, mom and dad. Didn’t you know there is a network of organizations, run by well-meaning, unbiased adults who only have your child’s best interests at heart? These people know more about what’s good for your daughter—I mean, son–than you do. Step right up, because I’ve got some news for you.

When teen girls go online and wander into the lair of FTM transitioners, one of the biggest topics of discussion is breast binders.  Despite how uncomfortable…

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This is not even close to the “nightmare” possible.

HuffPo Gay: This Trans Man’s Breast Cancer Nightmare Exemplifies The Problem With Transgender Health Care

When I saw this story, I expected it to be about a female who was denied insurance coverage due to a legal gender status as “male”. Or about the well-known issue that transmen avoid breast and gynecological care due to fear of poor treatment and extreme hatred or aversion to the female parts of their bodies.

Instead, it was about a very rude, inappropriate doctor. I’m not even sure I believe the doctor said exactly what the patient reports–I’m sure the conversation was unpleasant, and again, clearly it was hugely inappropriate for the patient to receive substandard care and to be questioned about mental health by a doctor whose business it was not. But the quoted comments just don’t ring true. That doesn’t sound like how anyone actually speaks, but a translation of a gist of the conversation.

A conversation based in misogyny and lesbophobia, not transphobia. Women always get worse care than men. Lesbians even worse. Women of color even worse. Transmen are not perceived as having “male privilege” or being “male” by most health professionals (or anybody). They’re seen as a kind of super-lesbian, and men who don’t adopt the liberal transqueer mindset where they pretend to think a woman is a man (but never treat her that way) just see another female stepping out of line who may not even deserve to live, in their view.

It’s tragic that this person is now suffering from lung cancer as well. It’s important to remember that stress-related health issues are killers of women, lesbians, and trans people.

Google glorifies female transition for Pride campaign

Business Insider: Google released an incredibly uplifting ad about a transgender man’s transition

Trans females/transmen are increasingly used to sell the idea of a “successful” transition, because testosterone is so powerful, the illusion of “man” is often much more complete in us than it is in trans males/transwomen. It is also natural, easy, for men to believe that of course any female might wish to emulate men as much as possible. To be female is to be subhuman, in the gender tyranny of patriarchy, and while men do not forget that transmen are female, ever, we are afforded a more understanding, “compassionate” attitude among liberal-minded men. We are tokens, pets, objects, like every woman.

This marketing campaign is the usual exploitation of a female body to increase the profits of an already enormously profitable corporation, with a twist that is regressive but disguised as “progressive”. The image of transition is sanitized, and imbued with an almost holy light: what a wonderous age we live in, that men’s power over female bodies and how women’s lives and very selves are defined can do such magical things.

Grief as a factor contributing to female transition

The following was written by the detransitioning woman known as @enchantedpen on Twitter. It is her account of how and why she decided to “identify as” a man. We hope to share more such stories going forward.


When I first came out as trans, I got challenged on it, asked what it was that had made me think this.  A few theories were thrown at me.  I was expecting this and was prepared for it, I’d been warned that “bigoted” family members would say things like “isn’t this just a reaction to losing your father?” and so on.  I was ready to shut them down without discussion and not even give them a moment’s thought because I knew – I’d been told by trans people who were experts on this stuff – that all of that was bullshit.

And it was easy, because yes, I am absolutely certain that I didn’t start wishing myself male as a result of my father’s death.  I was twenty then.  I’d already spent several years gradually coming to the conclusion that I had this mystical male essence, that the female side of myself was dead or dying, that this was for the best because she was a loser and I didn’t want to be her.  None of this was driven by grief for my father.

It started with grief for my cousin.

He was my only cousin on my father’s side, the only male in my generation on the male side of the family.  He was the future of the family name.  And he was killed in a car crash when I was thirteen.  I knew my family loved me, I never felt unvalued by them, but after his death I heard a lot of relatives grieving the loss of the boy.  And I felt hurt.  Overlooked.  Why couldn’t I be that for my family?  Why was it assumed that I would lose my name in marriage?  Why couldn’t I keep it, and pass it on, and be the future my family wanted?  I was grieving, too, for a much-loved cousin, and I didn’t know how to process that grief, so I turned it inwards and used it to create a male corner inside myself.  It wasn’t meant to replace him.  Well, not exactly.  I mean, I knew he was gone, it’s not like I REALLY wanted to become him.  What I was doing was totally different.  Honestly.  Seriously.  For real.  It was.

Queer theory told me to shut all that down and not even think it, because it was impossible that my desire to be male could have any link to this mis-channeled grief.  It was abusive, practically criminal to even discuss the idea.  Anyone who said things like that probably wanted me dead.

Wait, what?  This is ME saying this stuff.  No one else ever suggested I turned trans because of my cousin’s death.  (And that wasn’t the whole reason, it’s also because I liked girls, because I didn’t like sexism, because boys were allowed to do all the things I wanted to do, like be astrophysicists and marry women and play hockey.)  Am I abusing myself by analyzing the events that shaped me?  I don’t think so.  Is it bigoted to think, oh, it totally makes sense that I would have thought this as a result of that?  No.  I’m having thoughts that make sense.  I’m not saying no one is trans, I’m not saying every trans person was turned by death of a loved one at a critical age.  I’m saying, this is me.  I’m a woman, I don’t want to transition, my head got pretty thoroughly fucked up by grief and adolescence hitting me at the same time.

–@enchantedpen (twitter)